As a guest at a holiday meal, you may not be able to control what food you are served, and with an appetite far smaller than it used to be, a plate the host filled can hold much more than you will eat. Eat slowly so your brain has time to realize your stomach is full, and you can stop when you are full, whatever is still on the plate.
What to do once you are full, with food left on the plate and seconds on the way
Once you are full, leave what is still on the plate, put down your fork and glass, and focus on enjoying the setting and the company for the rest of the meal.
Seconds can wait: it takes at least 20 minutes for your brain to realize you are full, so take your time before deciding whether you want them. When there is more holiday food than fits into one meal, ask your host if you can take a favorite treat home for later.
How to turn down the next pour without a long explanation
Turn down the next pour with a "no, thanks" you have ready before you arrive, clear and firm, yet friendly and respectful, and leave out the long explanation, because long explanations and vague excuses tend to prolong the discussion and give you more chances to give in. Answer without hesitating, look at the person offering, and keep the reply short and simple.
A host who keeps offering may not know you are cutting back, and how hard they insist may vary, so plan a series of replies that runs from a simple refusal to a more assertive one, such as:
- "No, thank you."
- "No, thanks, I don't want to."
- "You know, I'm cutting back now. I'd really appreciate it if you'd help me out." Put "not drinking" in place of "cutting back" if that is closer to the truth, and add a reason after "now", such as "to get healthier" or "to take care of myself".
If the offers keep coming, repeat the same short, clear response each time. You can acknowledge part of what the person said, with "I hear you", and go back to "but no, thanks", and if words fail, you can walk away.
If you are cutting back, keep track of every drink so you stay within your limits, and if you have stopped drinking, keep an alcohol-free drink in your hand. A drink taken on an emptier stomach reaches your blood faster, too (see One drink can hit harder when you are eating less).
Use the same short reply for an offer of seconds, or for a question about the food left on your plate, and repeat it as often as you need to. If a prescription is part of why you eat less now, nobody at the table has to be told about it unless you choose to, and your medicines still belong on a written list (see A prescription kept private at home still needs a written list).
Whether a second plate from food left out all afternoon is safe
Skip a second plate from any dish that has sat out too long: throw away all perishable food left at room temperature for more than 2 hours, or 1 hour if the temperature is over 90°F, such as at an outdoor picnic in summer. The 2 hours begin when the food finishes cooking, or when it comes off an appliance keeping it warm, and the 1-hour limit in heat counts from the same point. The clock does not start again when somebody hands you a plate, so a plate taken late in the day comes from food that has had the longest time out.
A dish kept hot or kept cold is a different case. After cooking, hot food has to stay at 140°F or warmer to prevent bacterial growth, and on a buffet that means chafing dishes, slow cookers or warming trays, with cold food nested in bowls of ice or set out on small serving trays that are replaced often. Cold dishes left out at room temperature count toward the same limit. Dairy dishes and foods containing mayonnaise, such as coleslaw or potato salad, that have been out of the refrigerator too long are among the causes of food poisoning, which is more common after eating at picnics, school cafeterias, large social functions or restaurants.
Foods cooked in large batches and held at unsafe temperatures, between 40°F and 140°F, are most often the ones involved in outbreaks of C. perfringens food poisoning, and the foods commonly linked to it include poultry such as turkey and chicken, meat such as beef and pork, and gravy. Most of those outbreaks happen in the last two months of the year, and many have been linked to popular holiday foods such as turkey and roast beef. C. perfringens is estimated to cause nearly 900,000 foodborne illnesses in the United States each year.
That is why the later plate is the one that matters. Cooked food is not to be kept at room temperature if it will not be served and eaten soon, and food served and eaten right after cooking stays out of the danger zone between 40°F and 140°F.
C. perfringens causes diarrhea and stomach cramps that start 6 to 24 hours after eating and last less than 24 hours, and vomiting and fever are not common. So a bad morning after a holiday dinner, over within a day, can be food poisoning from the meal even when you do not connect the two.
How long the containers you take home keep
Food in the containers you take home can be kept in the refrigerator for 3 to 4 days or frozen for 3 to 4 months, and once frozen it stays safe indefinitely, though it can lose moisture and flavor the longer it is stored. A week in the fridge is past that range.
Take home only what can be in a refrigerator within 2 hours of the food being cooked or coming off an appliance keeping it warm, or within 1 hour if the food is in temperatures hotter than 90°F, such as in a hot car. A restaurant box runs on the same limits (see Ordering from a menu with a calorie count beside every dish).
Ask for shallow containers, or look for them while the food is being packed, because dividing large amounts of food into shallow containers helps it cool quickly to 40°F or below. Turkey cools faster cut into smaller pieces, with the breast meat sliced, while legs and wings may be left whole. Once you are home, refrigerate or freeze the wrapped leftovers immediately.
If your portions are much smaller now than they once were, several containers may be more than you can finish in 3 to 4 days, so freeze what you will not get to as soon as you get home. Frozen in single servings, leftovers become ready-made meals for another day.
The limits in one place:
| Where the food is | How long to keep it there |
|---|---|
| On the table at room temperature | No more than 2 hours from cooking or coming off a warmer, or 1 hour above 90°F |
| In a car hotter than 90°F | Into a refrigerator within 1 hour of cooking or coming off a warmer |
| In the refrigerator | 3 to 4 days |
| In the freezer | 3 to 4 months, then still safe but losing moisture and flavor |
To use a frozen container, thaw it in the refrigerator, take out the portion you need and refreeze the rest without reheating it. Reheat leftovers until they reach 165°F, as measured with a food thermometer, and bring gravy to a rolling boil.
Which signs the next day mean a doctor, and which mean 911
Severe symptoms after a holiday meal mean a visit to your own doctor, and a few signs in someone who is already dehydrated mean 911. The most common symptoms of food poisoning are diarrhea, stomach pain or cramps, nausea, vomiting and fever, and if you have diarrhea or vomiting, drink plenty of fluids to prevent dehydration, in small amounts if that is all that stays down (see Can't keep fluids down for 12 hours? Contact a provider right away).
See your own doctor if you have any symptom that is severe, including:
- bloody diarrhea
- diarrhea that lasts more than 3 days
- a high fever, over 102°F
- vomiting so often that you cannot keep liquids down
- signs of dehydration, which include not urinating much, a dry mouth and throat, or feeling dizzy when you stand up
A fever above 101°F is a reason to contact your doctor even on its own. If you are pregnant and have a fever and other flu-like symptoms, see your doctor, because some mild infections can cause problems with pregnancy.
Infants and older people are at the greatest risk for food poisoning, and anyone with a serious medical condition, such as kidney disease, diabetes or cancer, or with a weakened immune system, is at higher risk too. Tell your doctor's office which of those you have when you get in touch. With kidney disease, ask your doctor ahead of time what to do on a day when nothing stays down (see With kidney disease, a day of vomiting needs a plan made while you are well).
Call 911 if someone who is dehydrated from vomiting or diarrhea loses consciousness at any time, has any other change in alertness, such as confusion or seizures, or is no better or is getting worse despite treatment. A fever over 102°F in someone who is already dehydrated is a reason to call 911 as well.
A question from the holiday that can wait, such as how small your meals have become, suits a Spruce Health message to the NicoCares care team. Those messages have no stated reply window, so every sign in this section goes first to your own doctor's office or 911. If a weekly weight medicine is part of why you eat less now, also tell the doctor who prescribes it right away about vomiting that does not go away (see Can't keep fluids down for 12 hours? Contact a provider right away).
